Rapunzel, Rapunzel

Found on NYC Craigslist:

I am a woman seeking a group of 4-6 men to brush my hair in what i like to refer to as my “grooming circle.”

I have not cut my hair since age 14. I am 5’8″ and my nut-brown locks fall well past the small of my back, terminating just below the buttocks. I am 32 years old but often get i.d.’d when i buy wine spritzer by the case. I work in elder-care, and several of my male charges have described me as both “comely” and a “handsome woman.” I used to permit these fellows to brush my hair until i was reprimanded by my superiors.

This is how the “grooming circle” works. I will distribute to each man a numbered brush from my array of fine boar’s head bristle brushes (2 have ivory handles, 4 have tortoise shell). Each man will gather around me and take hold of a lock of hair approx 1/4 inch in diameter. Each man will then spread out from me in what i refer to as the “maypole formation.” I will let out a long sigh as a signal to commence brushing in tandem. I may need to periodically give notes, and will refer to each man by brush number.

No Tugging.

Please do not suggest music. We will be listening to the Gypsy Kings.

We will all be clothed. This is not overtly sexual in nature. You may take off your shoes but not your socks.

All I require is that you be of sound mind, have clean finger nails, no callouses, and a steady hand. A steady hand is essential to proper brushing rythmn.

For those first-timers who have never participated in a “grooming circle” before and are feeling nervous, I will offer you a ladyfinger soaked in peach schnopps to calm you. I also have wine spritzer if that is more to your taste. Again, there is nothing so offputting as an unsteady hand.

I will provide refreshments afterwords: ginger snaps, necco wafers, and fresca.

Do not bring in any outside brushes.

Please email me your responses and a photo of your hands.

–Lily

PS I have no grey hairs (at least not on my head).

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